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Strained relationships don’t just take an emotional toll—they may also speed up the biological clock, according to a new study from New York University and published on medRxiv.
Psychologists have long understood that strong social ties are linked to longevity, while isolation can cut lives short as drastically as obesity or lack of exercise. Now, fresh evidence reveals that the quality of our relationships might matter even more than their quantity, with negative or ambivalent interactions leaving a measurable mark at the cellular level.
The Cellular Toll of “Hasslers”
Researchers led by Byungkyu Lee analyzed DNA methylation patterns—chemical marks that regulate how genes work and shift in predictable ways with age—in saliva samples from 2,232 adults. They also surveyed participants on the nature of their social connections, asking how often people in their lives had “hassled” or caused them problems.
The findings were striking: More than half reported at least one “hassler” among their closest contacts. Each hassling relationship was linked with 0.5% faster biological aging, meaning those affected appeared, on average, 2.5 months older biologically than their actual age. The effect was even greater when over half of a person’s social network consisted of hasslers.
Not all negative relationships exert the same impact. Ambivalent ties—”frenemies” who offer support while also causing stress—had the strongest effect on aging. Purely negative ties were less harmful, likely because people can more easily distance themselves from them.
Health Risks Beyond Aging
The study also uncovered that chronic stress from negative ties raises inflammation and disrupts immunity, reflected both in biological markers of aging and in overall health. People with more strained relationships reported poorer physical and mental well-being, including higher anxiety, depression, and more chronic illnesses like heart disease and diabetes. Detrimental connections were also linked to higher BMI, larger waist-to-hip ratios, and difficulty recovering from illness.
However, social scientist Alex Haslam notes that group belonging, such as being part of a book club or choir, can help offset the negative effects of a few troublesome ties.
Addressing the Hidden Costs of Complex Connections
Unpredictable “frenemy” relationships cause ongoing psychological and physiological strain, especially since they can be hard to escape when they involve family or old friends. Stress systems remain on high alert, contributing to continual cortisol release, inflammation, and accelerated cellular damage.
Experts argue it’s not enough to simply cut off toxic ties or tackle loneliness. Solutions should focus on identifying and managing ambivalent relationships, teaching conflict resolution, setting boundaries, and nurturing positive, supportive connections.
Promoting healthier, trust-based social networks may pave the way for improved mental and physical health, helping people age more gracefully and resiliently.
Disclaimer: This article summarizes findings from a preprint study published on medRxiv and reported by Earth.com. The results have not yet undergone peer review and should not be taken as conclusive medical advice. Always consult qualified healthcare professionals before making changes to your health or relationship management strategies.
