Learning that your child has cancer is an overwhelming experience, and discussing it with them can be just as difficult. However, experts emphasize that open and honest communication is crucial in helping children understand and cope with their diagnosis and treatment.
While it may feel natural to shield your child from difficult news, withholding information can create confusion and fear. Children are highly perceptive and will often sense that something is wrong. Being upfront from the start fosters trust and allows them to feel included in their care.
How to Explain Cancer to Your Child
The way you discuss cancer should be tailored to your child’s age and developmental level. Using simple words like “sick” can help, but it’s important not to avoid saying “cancer” or the specific type of illness they have.
Explain where the cancer is and how doctors will treat it. Reassure them that they did nothing to cause the disease, even if they do not ask. Let them know that medical tests may seem scary but that a parent will be there whenever possible.
When describing treatments, use simple language. Instead of “chemotherapy,” say “medicine to get rid of the cancer.” If hospitalization is required, remind them it’s temporary and that they will come home soon.
Clarify that cancer is not contagious. Be honest about potential pain but assure them that doctors will make treatments as comfortable as possible.
Encourage them to ask questions and let them know it is okay to express their feelings. Be aware that they may hear information from friends, so reassure them that they can come to you or their doctors for accurate information.
For teenagers, their biggest concerns may revolve around how treatment will impact their daily life, including school, sports, friendships, and physical appearance. Be honest about side effects such as hair loss or weight changes so they know what to expect. Encourage them to seek trusted sources for information rather than searching online. Including them in discussions about their treatment can help them feel more in control.
Guiding Productive Conversations
- Pick an appropriate time and place to talk.
- Start by asking what they already know (if age-appropriate).
- Consider your child’s personality—some may need more time to process the news.
- Write down key points you want to convey and practice beforehand.
- Speak in a calm, reassuring voice and be mindful of your body language.
- Have a supportive person present, such as a family member or healthcare provider.
- Encourage questions and provide honest answers.
- Share your own emotions and let your child know it is okay to express theirs.
- Maintain routines to create a sense of normalcy.
- Give them choices whenever possible to foster a sense of control.
- Set behavior expectations—acknowledge that it’s okay to feel scared, but cooperation is needed for treatment.
- Help them stay connected with friends and family through visits, video calls, or letters.
- Seek emotional and psychological support for both you and your child.
For more information and support, organizations such as the American Cancer Society provide resources to help families navigate a childhood cancer diagnosis.
Disclaimer: This article is for informational purposes only and should not replace professional medical advice. If you have concerns about a child’s cancer diagnosis, please consult a qualified healthcare professional for guidance and support.