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In today’s hyper-connected world, the “fear of missing out,” or FOMO, is an all-too-common experience. You’ve likely felt it—when you see friends enjoying an event on social media and feel that sinking feeling of not being there. But what exactly are we afraid of missing out on?
A recent survey by OnePoll showed that 69% of Americans have experienced FOMO, yet the phenomenon is more complex than just feeling left out. New research from the Cornell SC Johnson College of Business reveals that FOMO is largely rooted in our social connections, rather than the events themselves. This fear, according to the researchers, is about losing future bonding opportunities and potentially being left out of our social groups.
The Real Source of FOMO: Social Bonding
According to Jacqueline Rifkin, assistant professor at Cornell’s Samuel Curtis Johnson Graduate School of Management, FOMO stems not from missing a specific event but from missing out on moments to build memories and connect with close friends. “If we miss a group dinner at a restaurant, we’re not really upset about the missed food and drink,” says Rifkin. “What we’re upset about is the fact that we missed the chance to bond, connect, and make memories.”
This insight emerged through a series of seven experiments involving over 5,000 people, conducted by Rifkin and her colleagues Cindy Chan from the Rotman School of Management and Barbara Kahn from the Wharton School. Their research, published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that FOMO intensifies when a person misses a social gathering with close friends, but not as much when the event lacks meaningful bonding. For instance, missing a concert without friends may evoke mild FOMO, but missing the same concert with friends can trigger a much stronger response.
FOMO and Social Anxiety
Interestingly, individuals with social anxiety are more prone to FOMO. They’re more likely to worry excessively about the social costs of missing events, which often leads to compulsively checking social media for updates. This has broader implications, as FOMO is linked to mental health challenges like reduced well-being and compulsive smartphone use.
How to Combat FOMO
One of the study’s critical takeaways is a strategy to counteract FOMO. After viewing social media posts of missed events, people who reflected on previous bonding experiences with their friends felt less anxious. Rifkin suggests that such self-reflection could be a valuable coping mechanism. “Reminding oneself of the meaningful relationships we already have can help mitigate the anxiety surrounding missing out,” she said.
Rifkin also highlights the value of mindfulness and focusing on present relationships. “Encouraging individuals to engage in mindfulness practices and focus on the strong relationships we currently have could be one way to stave off FOMO,” she noted. By emphasizing the strength of existing bonds and grounding oneself in the present, individuals may reduce the compulsive need to monitor social gatherings online.
Future Implications
This study underscores that FOMO isn’t limited to young social media users; it affects anyone who places value on their social connections. Recognizing the social triggers of FOMO can pave the way for future research into effective interventions. For instance, promoting realistic perceptions of social scenarios and encouraging a focus on existing relationships may help reduce FOMO-driven behaviors.
Next time FOMO starts to creep in, remember—it’s not the missed event that matters, but the fear of losing meaningful social bonds. Embracing the relationships you already have and nurturing them may be the best way to keep FOMO at bay.
