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The holiday season is often painted as a time of joy and togetherness, but it’s no secret that it can also bring stressors like social obligations, family tensions, financial pressures, and the constant push to maintain a cheery demeanor. Experts suggest that embracing imperfection could be the key to actually enjoying the season.
“It really helps to let go of some of the ‘shoulds,’” says Lynn F. Bufka, head of practice at the American Psychological Association. “Decide on the one thing that matters most, the things that bring you the most joy, and let go of other things.”
Let Traditions Evolve
Traditions, Bufka says, can—and should—shift over time. Flexibility helps create an environment where everyone feels more at ease. Lauren Iannotti, editor in chief of Real Simple, agrees, emphasizing the importance of focusing on creating a warm, welcoming space. “That’s literally all that matters,” she says.
Find Joy in What You Love
Whether you love decorating or hosting heartfelt conversations, lean into what makes you happy. Bufka advises prioritizing your favorite parts of the holiday and letting go of the rest.
“People want to help—let them!” says Iannotti. For instance, if cooking isn’t your strength or time is tight, there’s no shame in outsourcing tasks or turning to local restaurants for catering. Potlucks, where guests each bring a dish, are another great way to simplify preparations.
It’s OK to Cut Corners
Perfection isn’t the goal. A slightly messy house or a late dinner won’t ruin the occasion. “If the people you’ve invited are more interested in grading your performance than having a good time, they can take that up with their therapist,” jokes Iannotti.
To minimize stress, consider letting guests help themselves. Signature cocktails prepared in advance or a simple self-serve drink station can ease the burden of playing bartender.
Prioritize Self-Care
Don’t forget to take breaks. “Things will run well enough if you’re not overseeing it all,” says Bufka. Psychiatrist Brook Choulet suggests scheduling “micro-breaks” to recharge—whether it’s a walk, a quick bath, or a call to a friend.
Handle Discord with Grace
Holidays often bring family members with differing opinions under one roof. Bufka recommends preparing polite responses to steer conversations away from contentious topics. This proactive approach can help you navigate tricky interactions with less stress.
Redefine “Perfect”
The perfect holiday isn’t about flawless meals or spotless decorations—it’s about connection, joy, and shared memories. By embracing imperfection and focusing on what truly matters, you might find this year’s holiday season to be your best one yet.
As Bufka puts it, “Ideally, it’s about focusing on love—and that doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone.”
