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Aurora, CO – Early in his dermatology career, Joe Cari, MPAS, PA-C, encountered a stinging online review from a patient that challenged his confidence. The critique labeled him a “fake doctor,” accused him of dismissiveness, and suggested he lose his medical license. While such comments might be dismissed as outliers, they cut deep for the then-new clinician.
“I had about 20-30 five-star reviews, but I laser-focused on the bad one,” Cari shared at the Society of Dermatology Physician Associates (SDPA) 22nd Annual Fall Dermatology Conference. “Being early in my practice, that hurt; it was a jab to the heart.”
Negative reviews can feel personal, Cari noted, especially when they question a provider’s competence. Yet, he has found ways to turn such moments into opportunities for growth, drawing on lessons from his military background and Stoic philosophy.
Turning to Stoicism for Strength
Cari, a former Marine, credits Stoicism—a school of thought emphasizing resilience, emotional control, and self-discipline—for helping him navigate emotionally charged situations. He often reflects on Marcus Aurelius’s wisdom: “You have power over your mind — not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength.”
Another favorite is from Epictetus: “We cannot control the external events around us, but we can control our reactions to them.” These insights have shaped Cari’s response to criticism, allowing him to focus on what he can control while letting go of external negativity.
Strategies for Emotional Resilience
Cari shared practical strategies for building emotional resilience in the face of critical feedback:
- Practice Mindfulness: “Reading reviews in a nonjudgmental way allows us to pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully rather than react emotionally,” Cari said.
- Set Boundaries: Separating work from personal life is crucial. Cari uses his commute to unwind, often listening to audiobooks to decompress.
- Build a Support Network: Leaning on colleagues, mentors, and even therapists can provide emotional grounding. “Find your community,” he advised.
- Prioritize Self-Care: Activities like yoga, running, or spending time with loved ones can recharge the mind and body. “Most importantly, get some rest and take a vacation,” he added.
- Embrace Equanimity: Staying calm under pressure is vital. “Don’t let external circumstances dictate your emotional state,” Cari explained, emphasizing the importance of maintaining composure.
A New Perspective on Criticism
Cari offered a reframing of online reviews, citing data from reviewtrackers that suggests 60% of negative reviews are influenced by the reviewer’s mood or stress. “Don’t take it personally,” he advised. Instead, he sees criticism as an opportunity for self-improvement and deeper understanding of others’ perspectives.
Ultimately, Cari urges clinicians to avoid seeking validation from praise or feeling defeated by criticism. “Remain focused on your own standards of excellence,” he said.
A Lesson in Resilience
For Cari, turning a painful experience into a source of strength has been transformative. His message resonates with healthcare providers, reminding them that resilience, mindfulness, and self-care are vital tools not only for professional growth but also for personal well-being.
Disclosure: Cari reported no relevant financial relationships.
